Sunday, March 13, 2011

Safe Sex: Penguin-Style

cute penguin couple - explored
Image courtesy Adam Foster

Howdy, howdy. Today I’d like to thank Zoe Courtman for sending me the following award:



And now, for seven things about me . . .

First: current events and/or traumas. Considering the tragedy in Japan, I’ll keep the whining to a minimum.

1. My computer died. The reason I’m bummed and not in a straightjacket is the last thing I did before the hard drive self-destructed: backed-up the writing to two separate places. Thank you, old Mac, for hanging on that long. I’ll miss you.

2. My basement flooded. The sump pump went belly up and we woke with two inches of water all around. Bright side: I had finished my New Year’s Resolutions to clean out the sump pump room. (30 less boxes of wet mess to clean up!) Brighter side: our insurance rider for the sump pump. We only had to pay the deductible. If you have a sump-pump in your house, ask your agent about this rider. Clean up cost: $3000.

3. The Fabulous Miss Sydney lost a front fang to feline root rot. There goes that pretty snarl. Sorry baby.

4. For those of you keeping count, Big Bear has been sick seven, count ‘em, seven times since New Years. Do they make hypoallergenic hamster balls in size 6X? I know first graders have cooties, but this is ridiculous.

Flaming Lips
Image courtesy: dalai-alana

I’ve been reading Water for Elephants and love it. It reminds me of my old zookeeping days. Here’s something you may be surprised to know:

5. Vultures have a sense of humor. Our turkey vultures would perform targeted vomit-bombing on the keepers for yucks. And when I left the paper towels in their exhibit? They rolled their trees in two minutes flat. Bravo.

6. Speaking of wacky birds, I used to be the penguin keeper. Each morning, I’d slide back the exhibit door and Chewy, my man, would rush out into my lap for some morning snuggles like a sleek, black puppy. He’d bring me sticks and pebbles—the penguin version of roses and chocolate.

One morning I was surprised at how hard he seemed to be struggling to climb my arm. His flippers were flapping, tail wagging, feet flying. Then he stopped, went limp, and closed his eyes looking sort of . . . happy.

I looked down at my latex-gloved hand. OH NO, HE DIDN’T!!!!

(I felt so used.)

7. And finally, what would I do with the extra dough if I became a successful novelist?
A) Find a good therapist
B) Learn to play the guitar
C) Locate a vet who could set up Miss Sydney with a gold fang.

Looks like I’ll have plenty of time to mull it over. Until then check out these Stylish Blogs. You know what to do, kids.

Terry Towery
Writing Nut
Teresa Wellborn
L. Diane Wolfe
Christi Goddard
Vicki Rocho
Sarah Fine

24 comments:

  1. Thank you, Tamara! And that penguin didn't???!?? LOL When I was a kid, our cat Tiger lost a front fang to rot and he always had the funniest snarl.

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  2. Yes, the penguin did--how mortifying.

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  3. Oh, wow. First, thanks for thinking of my blog! Second, your bird traumas might be some of the awesomest things I've read lately. I'm having trouble typing this because I'm laughing so hard.

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  4. Thanks for the award! That penguin REALLY liked you. And the vomit-bombing is hysterical! I think I'd be wearing the widest-brimmed hats I could find around their enclosure....

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  5. Ooh, I loved Water for Elephants!Such a good book. I'm super excited for the movie.
    Sorry about your computer. Computer problems byte. Sorry, bad joke, I couldn't resist it.

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  6. Sarah, I've been digging your blog too. One of these days my zookeeping years will become a story. It was a cool job.

    Vicki, the hat idea is a great one because zoo animals don't understand bars or fences. They consider the area outside their enclosure as part of their territory.

    Randine, go ahead with the bad jokes. Computers usually deserve them. Except this one. Good computer, GOO-OOOD COMPUTER. Don't eat my files, please.

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  7. Thanks, Tamara! I've already posted today, so I will pass it on tomorrow. By the way, sweet blog ya got here!

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  8. LoL. Penguin rape. Best story I've heard all day.

    Thanks for the award! As you can tell I rather suck at the whole bloggity thing lately, especially the whole 'get back to people' part.

    OMG. I just realized I totally spazzed on you with my contest! I'll make it up to you.

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  9. Christi, Spaz away, friend. The winning was all I needed.

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  10. Ahh.. oh my goodness Tamara... I am SO sorry for taking so long to come by to thank you.. for some reason I thought I had.. but apparently I didn't... shame on me.

    So here goes.. much too late... thank you so much for thinking of me, and congrats to you! And thanks for sharing those tidbits! :)

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I solemnly promise to visit the blogs of all commenters (unless I'm abducted by aliens or my children get sick. If my children are abducted by aliens, I will be very busy, of course, catching up on my sleep.)