Monday, February 15, 2016

The Muse Party Blogfest - (Anti) Valentine's Day Edition

Happy Anti-Valentine's Day, Everyone! Join the party over at The Faux Fountain Pen with Sarah Foster and bring your muse. 


Me: Hi Sarah! How are you? And Jordan? How's it going? Clyde has something he wants to give you guys. He'll be here in a jif. He just had to park down the street a bit, because his fishing boat is hitched to his truck.

Clyde (running up to the door carrying a large box): Howdy folks! Sorry about the last party. I broke one of yer lamps. Completely by accident, I swear.

Me: While table-dancing in a hula skirt if I remember correctly--

Clyde: Well, at least I wasn't holding up the wall the entire time, Violet! And no wonder. Who's gonna ask you to dance when you're wearing yet another Life Is Good t-shirt and jeans? 

Me: Well at least my shirt is pink. The only red you got going is those ketchup stains on your flannel shirt. 

Clyde: I'll have you know this is my best flannel shirt. Here Sarah, (ripping open box and letting loose a million styrofoam peanuts into the room), you're gonna love this. 

Me: The leg lamp from A Christmas Story? I'm speechless, Clyde.

Clyde: It's a collector's item, Delores Downer! And one heck of a lot better than those worthless bricks of candy you brought.

Me: Ghirardelli chocolates with caramel are delicious, you backwater bumpkin. You just can't chew them without losing your dentures.

Clyde: I don't have dentures! 

Me (twitching my nose like Samantha from Bewitched): Actually, you do. Consider them my Valentine's Day gift to you.

Clyde (giving me the finger): And here's mine to you, Doll-face.

Me: Wow! Now that's romantic!

Clyde (grinning and nearly knocking me over with an over enthusiastic elbow in the ribs): Speaking of romance, why don't we make sure everyone's got a drink and play Spin the Bottle, the fun way.

Me: I almost too scared to ask.

Clyde: It's simple, Simone. You spin the bottle and whoever it points too, you switch drinks and take a swig. Anyone spits, they're out. I always top my beer off with a cup of milk just to make thing interesting.

Me: Um, I think I'll pass. That game would spread germs faster than a rabid rhesus monkey with diarrhea.

Clyde: Talking about a pet of yours, Priscilla? 

Me: Ha! With a muse like you, who needs pets?

Clyde: Hey? Wait! (Picks up a handful of styrofoam peanuts and crumbles them). Look! I made confetti! Easter's right around the block. How about the Confetti Egg Game? Where you going? 

Me: Home! I need to start writing letters of apology to our host and the other guests. This is going to be a long night.


Clyde grew up in Honea Path, SC, back when color TV was a big deal. His mom was first a schoolteacher and later principal of Whitehall Elementary, his father was in the armed services, and his older brother Dillan, or Dill, used to (in his words, not mine) beat the p*** out of him. He's rude, crude, and totally uncalled for, but as a muse, he does a great job at kicking me in the tail when I need it. 

The Fisherman 

Image Courtesy: Håkon Iversen Photog

So how would you describe your muse? Naughty or nice?


  1. Haha! Clyde is always good for keeping the party interesting! That version of spin the bottle sounds a bit frightening, though.
    Thanks for coming to my party!

  2. *Snickers* great party. My muse is both naughty & nice depending on the day. Fun post.
    Juneta @ Writer's Gambit

  3. Clyde sounds like a danger to all but you. Enjoy.

  4. Ketchup stains on flannel, heh, love it! I just had ketchup w/my bacon yesterday. ;)

  5. I'm glad Clyde could make it. It wouldn't be a party with him. ;) The leg lamp. *cringes*

  6. I'm glad Clyde could make it. It wouldn't be a party with him. ;) The leg lamp. *cringes*

  7. Ah, a man of taste. (no one said it was *good* taste, but it's taste). Leonel is far too nice to say what he thinks.

  8. "'Rude, crude, and totally uncalled for,'" Will Scarlet laughs. "Sounds like some of the best people I know." He jerks a thumb toward me. "You couldn't pay Danielle enough to drink out of everyone else's cups, but I'm livin' dat YOLO life. Bottoms up!"
    Letters of apology... I knew I'd forget something.

  9. Table dancing in a hula skirt...I can't believe I missed last year.

    And those chocolates are amazing!

  10. Heya Clyde! I'm going to sit out the spin the bottle game, but Nick here--

  11. Laughing out loud at the table dancing in a hula skirt -I must've missed that last time! My muse, Jari, would totally be up for your spin the bottle long as you're okay with drinking mead/home-brewed fruit vodka...? No? Maybe next time!

  12. I really love Clyde. There's a real noir feeling to him. And even if dentures aren't the most romantic gift... it was necessary, and he'll thank you for it.

  13. Ha! This was great! And you can't go wrong with chocolate and caramel!


  14. ha ha! that clyde is a southern trouble-maker! egg confetti? ah!
    the party was a blast (literally!)

  15. My muse likes the fun stuff. He's all about creation. Once it's time to rewrite *POOF* can't find the bugger anywhere.

  16. That is one heck of a muse! Dang!

  17. It's been fun reading these. And chocolate with caramel is delicious. :)

  18. This was delightful! I love Clyde. Evelyn (my muse) is a bit mischievous too! Sorry I am late responding. Have a great weekend!

  19. Haha, I loved this! So good to "see" you Tamara! I've been away from the blogging world for a while.

  20. Pity i missed that blogfest, since I dislike all these commercial celebrations, including Mother's day, Father's day Valentine's day and Christmas. Most of all I dislike celebrations where I'm in focus, such as my own birthday. Hopeless introvert I am >:)

    Cold As Heaven

  21. LOL! Now that's a character. Oye! Definitely not the kind of guy I'd want at my party.


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