Monday, February 15, 2016

The Muse Party Blogfest - (Anti) Valentine's Day Edition


Happy Anti-Valentine's Day, Everyone! Join the party over at The Faux Fountain Pen with Sarah Foster and bring your muse. 

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Me: Hi Sarah! How are you? And Jordan? How's it going? Clyde has something he wants to give you guys. He'll be here in a jif. He just had to park down the street a bit, because his fishing boat is hitched to his truck.

Clyde (running up to the door carrying a large box): Howdy folks! Sorry about the last party. I broke one of yer lamps. Completely by accident, I swear.

Me: While table-dancing in a hula skirt if I remember correctly--

Clyde: Well, at least I wasn't holding up the wall the entire time, Violet! And no wonder. Who's gonna ask you to dance when you're wearing yet another Life Is Good t-shirt and jeans? 

Me: Well at least my shirt is pink. The only red you got going is those ketchup stains on your flannel shirt. 

Clyde: I'll have you know this is my best flannel shirt. Here Sarah, (ripping open box and letting loose a million styrofoam peanuts into the room), you're gonna love this. 

Me: The leg lamp from A Christmas Story? I'm speechless, Clyde.

Clyde: It's a collector's item, Delores Downer! And one heck of a lot better than those worthless bricks of candy you brought.

Me: Ghirardelli chocolates with caramel are delicious, you backwater bumpkin. You just can't chew them without losing your dentures.

Clyde: I don't have dentures! 

Me (twitching my nose like Samantha from Bewitched): Actually, you do. Consider them my Valentine's Day gift to you.

Clyde (giving me the finger): And here's mine to you, Doll-face.

Me: Wow! Now that's romantic!

Clyde (grinning and nearly knocking me over with an over enthusiastic elbow in the ribs): Speaking of romance, why don't we make sure everyone's got a drink and play Spin the Bottle, the fun way.

Me: I almost too scared to ask.

Clyde: It's simple, Simone. You spin the bottle and whoever it points too, you switch drinks and take a swig. Anyone spits, they're out. I always top my beer off with a cup of milk just to make thing interesting.

Me: Um, I think I'll pass. That game would spread germs faster than a rabid rhesus monkey with diarrhea.

Clyde: Talking about a pet of yours, Priscilla? 

Me: Ha! With a muse like you, who needs pets?

Clyde: Hey? Wait! (Picks up a handful of styrofoam peanuts and crumbles them). Look! I made confetti! Easter's right around the block. How about the Confetti Egg Game? Where you going? 

Me: Home! I need to start writing letters of apology to our host and the other guests. This is going to be a long night.

__________

Clyde grew up in Honea Path, SC, back when color TV was a big deal. His mom was first a schoolteacher and later principal of Whitehall Elementary, his father was in the armed services, and his older brother Dillan, or Dill, used to (in his words, not mine) beat the p*** out of him. He's rude, crude, and totally uncalled for, but as a muse, he does a great job at kicking me in the tail when I need it. 

The Fisherman 

Image Courtesy: Håkon Iversen Photog

So how would you describe your muse? Naughty or nice?

28 comments:

  1. Haha! Clyde is always good for keeping the party interesting! That version of spin the bottle sounds a bit frightening, though.
    Thanks for coming to my party!

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  2. *Snickers* great party. My muse is both naughty & nice depending on the day. Fun post.
    Juneta @ Writer's Gambit

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  3. Clyde sounds like a danger to all but you. Enjoy.

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  4. Ketchup stains on flannel, heh, love it! I just had ketchup w/my bacon yesterday. ;)

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  5. I'm glad Clyde could make it. It wouldn't be a party with him. ;) The leg lamp. *cringes*

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  6. I'm glad Clyde could make it. It wouldn't be a party with him. ;) The leg lamp. *cringes*

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  7. Ah, a man of taste. (no one said it was *good* taste, but it's taste). Leonel is far too nice to say what he thinks.

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  8. "'Rude, crude, and totally uncalled for,'" Will Scarlet laughs. "Sounds like some of the best people I know." He jerks a thumb toward me. "You couldn't pay Danielle enough to drink out of everyone else's cups, but I'm livin' dat YOLO life. Bottoms up!"
    Letters of apology... I knew I'd forget something.

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  9. Table dancing in a hula skirt...I can't believe I missed last year.

    And those chocolates are amazing!

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  10. Heya Clyde! I'm going to sit out the spin the bottle game, but Nick here--
    Nick: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

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  11. Laughing out loud at the table dancing in a hula skirt -I must've missed that last time! My muse, Jari, would totally be up for your spin the bottle game...so long as you're okay with drinking mead/home-brewed fruit vodka...? No? Maybe next time!

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  12. I really love Clyde. There's a real noir feeling to him. And even if dentures aren't the most romantic gift... it was necessary, and he'll thank you for it.

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  13. Ha! This was great! And you can't go wrong with chocolate and caramel!

    Heather

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  14. ha ha! that clyde is a southern trouble-maker! egg confetti? ah!
    the party was a blast (literally!)

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  15. My muse likes the fun stuff. He's all about creation. Once it's time to rewrite *POOF* can't find the bugger anywhere.

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  16. It's been fun reading these. And chocolate with caramel is delicious. :)

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  17. This was delightful! I love Clyde. Evelyn (my muse) is a bit mischievous too! Sorry I am late responding. Have a great weekend!

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  18. Haha, I loved this! So good to "see" you Tamara! I've been away from the blogging world for a while.

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  19. Pity i missed that blogfest, since I dislike all these commercial celebrations, including Mother's day, Father's day Valentine's day and Christmas. Most of all I dislike celebrations where I'm in focus, such as my own birthday. Hopeless introvert I am >:)

    Cold As Heaven

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  20. LOL! Now that's a character. Oye! Definitely not the kind of guy I'd want at my party.

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