Wednesday, February 2, 2011

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not—A Horror Story

Meet Jesse, my thirteen-year-old diabetic wonder cat. Here are some absolutely true fascinating facts about this here animule:

1) She was the runt of the second litter.
2) She was named after a penguin.
3) She had a black streak down her head as a kitten, very punk rock.
4) She was mentioned in my wedding vows.
5) She bites.

Last week I took her and her sister, the Fabulous Miss Sidney, to the vet for their yearly dose of torture, uh, shots. I pulled the J-cat out of her travel crate for her weigh-in; then I put her back in. I pulled the J-cat out for her shots and put her back in, again. Just as I was putting my peeved pet back in her carry around, the vet said, “What’s this about bumps on her skin?”

I stick my hand back in the cage and Jesse does a most impressive imitation of a rabid vampire. Trying to stay cool, I pull my hand out and continue to describe the size of these bumps without missing a beat. While I’m blabbering on about the size of the stuff they put in Beanie Babies, the vet looks at my hand and says, “OH MY GOD!”

Glancing down at my stinging paw, I see blood running down my fingers in a torrent, splattering all over my coat, jeans, and the floor. OMG!

Maintaining my coolness, I dart over to the sink and run the mess under cold water. Instead of stopping, the red rivulet keeps on keeping on and I’m seeing black thread and a needle in my future.

The doc finds me some gauze and tells me to hold the hand up. A vet tech comes in, lets me smear some bright blue bacteria cream on the wounds, and wraps my hand up, nice and tight. They send me home, Jesses’s bumps be damned, and tell me to get medical attention ASAP—a ten day stint of swallowing antibiotic pills bigger than my cat. Yowza.

So how do you handle the sight of blood?

A: I can eat steak tartare while watching Saw VI
B: Bunnicula scarred me for life

But seriously folks, cat bites can put you in the hospital. If Fluffy-Muggins sinks her fangs into you, don’t just laugh it off.


  1. I hope you're okay, what a story! Although she is VERY cute! :)

    Is there a C option that falls in between? My own blood tends to have more of an impact on me than others blood.

    And I LOVED Bunnicula when I was little.. I think I still have a few of the books! :)

  2. Awww, but she's so cute! Feel better!

  3. OMG, my diabetic dog Chewbacca sounds A LOT like your cat! He draws blood everytime!

    I can stand the sight of blood itself, but not the fleshy, icky stuff.


  4. I'm taking my oven mitts next time. The hand is fine. Only two more days of swallowing horse pills!

  5. yikes! Hope your hand heels okay! I'm 'okay' with blood. Hate torture movies. Liked bunnicula. Really don't like cat scratches!:)

  6. Ouch! My cats have never bitten me, but then again I always let my husband handle the vet trips! What a cute kitty, though.

  7. Such a cute, Kitty! I hopped over from Hannah's blog to say hello. :-)

  8. Bless it!!!!! Sorry, I was laughing while reading this. I've been bitten so many times, I wonder if I'm part cat! I'm glad you're okay, though. And blood doesn't usually bother me.

    I'm here from Hannah's blog and it's nice to meet/follow you!

  9. Don't laugh but I was holding my hand under the tap after mishandling a can-opener (I said don't laugh). Next thing I'm on the floor examining the ceiling. (You're laughing aren't you?)
    It's hard to be manly when your stomach is doing the rhumba and the brain blood stages a mass walk out!

    So glad I found you blog


  10. Welcome new followers! It's so cool to meet you. Words Crafter, you're supposed to laugh at this blog. Always. Dominic, I guess some things are out of your control. ;) Might be a fun characteristic to put in a book.

    I'll be coming to your blogs shortly!


I will do everything in my power to visit commenter's blogs unless I've been abducted by aliens or my children get sick. (If my children get abducted by aliens, I will be very busy, of course, catching up on my sleep.)