Sunday, February 27, 2011
The Winter Break Blues
Image courtesy: Another side of yukita
Monday morning I start off with a bang
Took the kids to an indoor park called Kang-
Go, I said after paying the fee.
My membership ran out months ago—really? Three?
Five minutes later, Big Bear was in tears
She’d bashed her poor toes
Couldn’t bounce or climb stairs.
Needed some pizza—stat!—but beware,
The friggin’ hot cheese burned the mouth of Little Bear.
On Tuesday we headed west to Erie
After hours of Barbie songs, boy, was I weary.
We got there by two, suits ready to don,
But no room in Splash Lagoon:
“It’s peak season, (you moron).”
Image courtesy: Warren County CVB (This is Great Wolf Lodge in Ohio, but looks similar to Splash Lagoon.)
Curses and drat, sold out tomorrow too?
No worries, cause by nightfall, both kids had the flu!
Kidding—just colds—what do you take me for?
We’re first in line for flu shots.
With innoculations, I’m hardcore.
Thursday, Miss Sidney made a trip to our vet
Her teeth grimier than the Titanic’s underside, I bet.
Home again, yowling, minus a tooth,
Lurching around drunk, falling down stairs—how uncouth!
Now she’s on antibiotics
Another med in my cart?
With all the pills, suspensions, and needles
This nurse needs a flow chart.
Friday, Little Bear had a fever and it hit me
All her crying on the potty meant another trip to the
Pediatrician, and wouldn’t you know
She also on antibiotics; as Homer says, “D-oh!”
So it’s Sunday. I’m done,
Hiding in bed for some rest.
Minutes later, the kids find me
And destroy my cozy nest.
Closing my eyes,
I play possum and pray,
Oh God, let me sleep!
But it ain’t happenin’ today.
While my little one pries back my lids with a barrette,
My oldest giggles madly, like a hyena with tourettes.
Image courtesy: Phil @ Delfryn Design
The worst part of the torture is thus:
In six weeks—Spring Break!
(Maybe I’ll be hit by a bus.)
But hold on, hold up,
Just a minute, now, Jake.
We’re off to the beach. I know what to bring.
Meat tenderizer for jellyfish stings!
Running shoes to dash from amorous gators!
And every flavor of Gogurt for the refrigerator!
Image courtesy: Anirudh Koul
Except this is silly.
Why pack for Kiawah’s resort?
When a freak April blizzard
Will close Rochester’s airport.