Hi Blogger/Aspiring Writer Folks,
Well, I didn't win the Creepy Query Girl's Query Spoof Contest. WAAAAH! But at least I was a contender. Yes, me. I was number 4, Dude! Below is my totally awesome surfer dude spoof query. I'm quite proud of the little bugger.
So on with the next contest! Christi Goddard, who coined the awesome word 'craptastic' and survived being Janet Reid's chum, is having a short story contest. Rules? Not too many. Aim for 500 words. Deadline is June 15. Prizes (6!) are cash. Coolness. So get yourself over to A Torch in the Tempest and enter now.
Dear Agent-dude:
Was Up!? Um, I’ve got a cool idea for a book ’cause, like, I saw on your webpage that you represent books, but dude! I don’t recognize any of those other author’s names. So anyway, I think I can help you out.
Okay, so like this little girl lives with her mom and dad. Like, duh. Oh! She also has an older sister, who is, like, fifteen maybe? And an older brother, who is, I don’ know, let’s say eight. Oh yeah! The little girl is five. So weird sh*t, sorry, starts happening in their house like chairs moving by themselves and their dog, like, barks at the walls.
Then, this is really cool, the little girl gets sucked into another dimension during this hugefreakin’ thunderstorm. The parents don’ even know, ‘cause like, this crazy wacked-out tree comes into the kid’s bedroom and tries to eat the brother. Did I tell you the brother and sister share a room?
So then the little girl’s voice comes on the TV, on a channel with, you know, just static. Wait. Do they have channels like that anymore? Okay, maybe this happened a long time ago. I’ll have to work it out. Anyway, the family hires this ‘little person’ who is a real sichic? Physics? Um, and this little person helps the mom go into the other dimension and get her kid back.
But wait! I almost forgot the best part. First the mom falls into their empty swimming pool. No. She falls into the hole where the swimming pool is going to be. And there’s, like, skeletons in their. Really gross ones. And, like, we find out the house was built on a graveyard, and the ghosts of those corpses are totally pissed off.
So I attached the first hundred or so pages. Sorry if the font cheeses you out, but I really think Curlz ‘MT’ is the only way to go. Don’t you? To conserve space, I don’t have, like, margins or double space or any of that crap. Cool.
Check ya later!
Awesome Writer Dude
Oh Dude!
I like totally forgot to tell you the name of my book! Wow. Okay, it's Ghost In Your Closet, or do you like The Ghost Who Came For Dinner? Because, in the end, dude! The ghost eats the house. Wicked.
Awesome Writer Dude
PS I don' know the page count yet,'cause I'm like, not finished and my Frolf tourney starts this weekend. Schweet!
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